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Wednesday, December 27, 2006


Hope your holidays have been/will continue to be happy, festive and enjoyable!

PS That hot wheels green machine? It's all mine.

Err. Was.

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Friday, December 22, 2006

I may have spoke too soon and pissed off Austria - oh crap 

Dear Austria,

Please ignore the last outburst about getting up to speed with the rest of the marvelous internet connected and convenient world while you PLEASE tell North America how it is that you work that whole public transportation system so well.

They don't get it here. Someone needs a hand holding and a very thorough explanation. Could you just do me this one favor, please? I'll ignore and perhaps even forget the customer service thing if you do this, I promise!

Oh, and there's a bit of a timeline, see. 2010 is kind of the goal deadline here, since Vancouver is inviting the world for the Olympics, so could you maybe, um, help with the hurrying it up thing? You know, since you're so good at time tables, and the keeping thereof, I thought you'd be the natural choice for that.

That'd be fab, thanks for the help.



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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Back to Sporadic and Pointless 

After November's deluge of daily crap here, I had to take a step back and get back to my roots. Of Sporadic and Unreliable. I feel comfortable in these shoes. They're molded to my feet pretty well and they don't make the balls of my feet ache quite so much. I have loads to talk about but not enough will (I would say time, but HA HA HA - I have all the time in the world yet never save any for blogging) or creative energy to bother. Having said that, I have to confess I will write about nothing today because. Well, because I err.... have my reasons. Maybe sometime soon with the real updates. k?

Til then, please know that this is the one thing that made me laugh out loud in the past 15 minutes.

She said to me after telling me about a woman in a coffee shop ordering a decaf coffee with "a little caffeine":

Her: "I had my best English 'oh for fucks sake' face on!"

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

How to... 

If there is someone this holiday season that you want to torment, in a way, just play them a copy of Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton's Once Upon a Christmas CD. Does it even come on CD? Because when I had it way back when I was littler, I distinctly recall it being a cassette. That got so well used that it wore down. And I had to sing the whole second verse to "A Christmas to Remember". Not that you needed to know that, nor did I need to admit I know all the lyrics.

But whatever, its festive.

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Getting Up to Speed with the Modern World 

When I lived in convenience-land Vienna, where stores aren't open on Sunday or past 5 on Saturday evening - any store, I often wondered what it would be like to live in a place again where there was convenience and that oh-so-scary-idea, customer service.

I don't think I ever got used to the concept that you must buy the bags in which you carry your groceries home. That just seems harsh, cruel, and a very difficult decision to make when you have no idea how many bags you would need to carry home food enough for breakfast lunch and dinner for Saturday and Sunday. Plus drinks. Now let me remind you that its Saturday morning and you haven't had any coffee. 1 bag? 4? But I have only two hands! You can get around this by bringing your own carrying devices, which I never had to do before in my life. There's cars in my hometown, right? Cars with trunks. Awesome!

And someone tell me what is the purpose of essentially loaning your grocery cart a euro or two just so you can use it for the duration of your swirl around the store? Surely, those carts cost more than 2 whole euros, and in a place like Austria where theft is only done to bicycles, the deposit for the pleasure of convenience of a wheeled cart is some kind of leftover from the war, or after the war. Right? (I found that to be a common excuse for arcane or strange mannerisms, so I'm sure it fits here.) --- Err maybe that was a common excuse that I made up and used, but it applies probably so let it fly, ok?

Being such a small country with little agriculture land, its not far fetched to imagine that fruit and vegetable selection would be rather limited, or just really expensive, what with the need for all those imports - from non EU countries usually. Except it was really only just limited. Insult to injury, you could only buy a small collection of fruit and veg in bulk. Like garlic. Who needs 4 globes of garlic at once? Vampires - they're not real. You don't need this much garlic. And shallots. Who always needs 20 shallots? You want one potato? NO! You must have a whole giant bag. You only need one onion in the next month? Too bad! You'll have a whole bag of them rotting in your kitchen if you don't use them all in the next week.

Oh and also, OH MY GOD, fresh fruit and vegetables, HA! FRESH my ass! Strawberries fresh from the store often start molding about 20 minutes after they leave the store. On the way home, in the middle of being put in the fridge, whatever. Wherever they happen to be at the time, they go wrong. Those long trips of import from all those other countries not really nearby must be really long! Exceptionally long. Long enough so that you can't really buy any fruit unless you plan to eat it on the way home, unless, of course, you want to throw it out when you walk in the door. It completely reverses the meaning to never shop hungry. You MUST shop hungry or you'll just be wasting food.

So now that I've panned that place I used to live on a number of levels, none of which covers that ever-elusive topic of customer service, let me explain what brought this up.

A delivery. Of groceries. That I placed online. And they took a credit card as payment! Get THAT Austria!

Next entry: solar powered ferret fans or, perhaps, the totally abysmal state of ant housings and over spreading of fungus around domestic ant colonies

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Monday, December 11, 2006

Because I have been asked... 

Does this look like an unreasonable christmas wish list?

a vacuum cleaner

a cookbook stand with a glass front to cover the pages

another magnetic spice rack

a tall pantry shelf with a wine rack for the pantry

a short pantry shelf without a wine rack for storage of linens

DVD/Document holding bookshelf

a magazine holder

a blanket basket

a waffle maker

I'm dreaming aren't I? Yeah, I know. I'm going to go update my amazon wishlist with things like dvd's and books and cds, instead.

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

Betting Games 

So, the proper size bed rails came. Now they're just the wrong color.

Let's bet on what is messed up with the next thing these poeple send me!

I bet they'll send me an elephant, which is so much like a bed I can barely stand it. What do you think? And you can't bet that the proper pieces will be sent because we all know that won't happen.

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Not what today should be about 

I wanted to tell you a happy story. About caffeine. And froth. And SHINY METAL.

But instead, the guy finally delivered the new bed. 2 months after purchase, but whatever, it's here! YAY! And it's ALL WRONG. BOO!

Witness: Headboard

Hmm. Something has gone awry.

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Monday, December 04, 2006


For at least an hour I have been in a small day dream that I am back in Vienna.

Picture it. Its July, maybe even August - the height of summer. Bright sunshine, warm breezes, barely any shade in the entire city, the need for ice cream is astounding. This is the hottest it has been all year. I'm waiting for the U-Bahn, going somewhere at about noon. Perhaps on a Saturday. Maybe shopping somewhere to buy things which I do not need, yet want to have very much. The train pulls into the station. It is filled with all sorts of people, tourists, locals, pets, and a very angry old man. Some fat lady has just stepped on his foot trying to get out of the train, that bitch. I squeeze into the train just in front of the doors before they close behind me, locking me in, and some grimy looking old man is using the ceiling handle right above my head. And he hasn't washed. In weeks.

But it is not a day dream. There is a man in my flat painting the place so it will look all shiny and pretty, and I can tell you with a great amount of certainty that he? He hasn't washed either.

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Googler from Cali! COME BACK 

Hey! You! The crazy Californian that was looking for the recipe (at 5 AM!?) for Gordon Ramsay's F Word Brownies - Do you mean Sarah Beeny's recipe? Cuz I totally found them on the internet just for you. Mostly because I miss California, but not at 5 in the morning. You're wacky.

Stolen, copied and pasted from here: Sarah's Brownies from The F Word


* 115g Plain Flour
* 5 tablespoons Cocoa Powder
* 280g Caster Sugar
* 2 Eggs (Beaten)
* 115g Melted Butter
* 1 teaspoon Vanilla Essence


1. Pre-heat the oven to 170c
2. You will need a greased 8" spring form cake tin with loose base
3. Sieve the flour and cocoa powder together in a large bowl.
4. Add the sugar and mix in the eggs.
5. Add the melted butter and vanilla essence.
6. Mix thoroughly before pouring in to the cake tins.
7. Bake in the oven for 25 – 30 minutes.
8. Serve with a little warmed cream.

WOW that seems rather simple. Hmm, if I hadn't already bought everything for fantastical curry or chops and chicory for tonight I would consider brownies for dinner... Or breakfast.

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Friday, December 01, 2006

November, Recap 

What I did for Thanksgiving: I flew, I ate, I hung out with family, and I came home. Details are mundane. Besides, I don't really have a story to share.

Also, what I learned throughout the November boringness here at my blog: I need to pick something to write about, and then start writing well, all the time. Unfortunately, I don't have a topic that dear to me to write about, and I'm contemplating more and more why I even have a blog. The blogging everyday in the month of November made me realize I don't know if I want to keep writing.

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