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Monday, October 16, 2006

Things I learned in 24 hours 

Over the course of the past 24 hours, these are the things that I have learned. This list is very very disjointed. Each paragraph is alarmingly different than the next.

Night pictures are, generally, best taken when one owns a tripod. I would further suggest that should one own a tripod, it would behoove one to use the tripod for night shots.

Recycling deposits in Canada are not really worth getting back, since all I got back today couldn't even get me half a cup of coffee at one of the three thousand Starbucks in the city.

Questions on the practice driving test online are hilariously silly, sometimes suggesting that traveling too close to a truck is unsafe only when one is using their cell phone. Which I guess is true, but maybe not the only time.

Reality TV is absolutely and entirely hilarious. Why it is that I just didn't see it before might have had something to do with me being in a place where I didn't actually have access to any American TV shows, but whatever. Seriously, has anyone watched this (apparently British import) wife swapping show? It is pure brilliance. They take two completely different families and trade wives. They do the stupidest things and are obscenely hilarious, in the not funny, but head-shakingly hilarious. Also, hey who doesn't already know the premise of The Bachelor? Oh my god, whoever thought of this has got to be some really disturbed individual. 25 women battle it out for a night or week or something for a dozen roses. The bachelor hands them out after the end of the time span. The next week he only has 9, the week after 6. I don't know how many after 6 because there were only 6 in the show tonight and I've never seen this before! But during the weeks, he takes them on dates. Dates with like 6 girls at a time. Or if you're the lucky girl that week, you get a date with him alone or with one other girl. And apparently at the end of the season, the bachelor and the girl he chooses get married. WHAT? WHO THOUGHT OF THIS? There's so much drama it's stunning. And oh my god, the series on now, they're all in Rome. And the guy, yeah, he's a prince. Someone give him some shining armor and a damn horse already. Seriously.

I like peanut butter cookies fresh out of the oven, and I like them even better when they have chocolate chips in them. I also learned that I need a proper mixer, or better biceps. Either or, really.

Lasagna is totally easy to make, but you need a lot of cheese. Oh dear arteries, please don't hate me so!

Mia is adorable, and has taken to sleeping on a chair in the dining area. Its best to not sit on cats. In case, you know, you were considering it. However, it is perfectly acceptable if a cat sits on a human's lap. That's okay. You can let that happen.

Butter is one highly popular ingredient in desserts and we have actually gone through TUBS of butter since arriving nearly 4 weeks ago. That's plural as well as indicative of a big container.

French subtitles or identification on food labels intimidate me. I know literally no French. I have less than no desire to learn French. I spent 7 years studying Spanish in school. I was fluent for about 4 of those years. Maybe 3. I learned German in Austria, although I hate the language (sorry, its so not nice to spit on people when you tell them you love them.) and hardly spoke it to people that I actually knew and spent time with. Everyone else was totally fair game though. I have used up my brain space that was reserved for languages. Once the German drips out of my brain entirely, maybe I'll consider caring about any little bit of French. Til then, grocery store shelf stockers, can you please rotate those damn jars so English is facing the aisle? Especially since, you know, we're in BRITISH COLUMBIA, where people here... well they don't really even acknowledge that they're of the same country as those French Canadians a couple provinces away. Thanks much, dearies.

I still don't really like Adam Sandler in movies, but I can so tolerate him more than a few other actors. Their names have been blocked from my memory, thank god.

I can make peanut butter cookies in a very short time span. The baking is the part that really gets me down since it takes SO LONG. (Hey, 5 dozen cookies take a while when one has only one cookie sheet to use.)

The Oakland A's totally didn't deserve to be in the World Series anyways. Detroit Red Wings - they still rule. And I didn't openly have to be supportive of the Canucks, I just had to act like I didn't really care who won. This won't go well when Detroit comes to Vancouver and I go to the game.

Flat LCD TV screens - they're big. And expensive. At least the ones I saw lately. But shopping online for TVs and beds is totally much more fun than going to stores and talking to people.

I'm not allowed to have peanut butter and apples in bed anymore, as I'm too klutzy to actually hold on to the pieces 100% of the time. And I needn't accidentally kick the door frame in the middle of the night. It tends to wake up everyone in the house when I scream "Fer fuck's sake!" Whoops.

Someone I know is crazy about the word rib-rageous. Sweet, non?

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