well-dressed foolish ideas

(*Also known as the day I got the keys to the new place.)

Dear Previous Tenants in my new place --

Isn't the place amazing? I'm sure you're heartbroken to leave the harbor views behind. I know I would be. And what about those views of downtown from bed? Yeah, those will be nice to wake up to. I can't wait. I love that 70% of the walls in the place are glass. Windows to the whole city. How awesome! Views of loads of interesting things to look at. And a balcony to sit on when it's not -2 degrees in the sun like it was today (supposedly).

My whole day was giddiness. I got the keys from one of you people. I cleaned up after you (for shame!) and polished the kitchen appliances. I even cleaned the oven, which took me not long at all. So to all the others of you that have done that before me, my thanks. Really.

Tomorrow some burly men will be moving things around the place. I imagine everything should settle down by the weekend. So I was thinking about having a party. Ya know, one of those housewarming types. Why don't you come by to see what will be changing with the place and how all the new furniture looks in it? I'll be handing out door gifts - Windex and a roll of paper towels. If you want, I'll even give you a demonstration since it seems you've never before seen or heard of the concept of cleaning windows. Here's one of the views from one of the windows for you to remember the place by. (See how you can now see through the windows? Neat, huh?)

See you at the party!

Hugs and kisses,

-The New Windexer