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Thursday, November 18, 2004

The problem with feminism 

Chit chat in the office is usually pretty calm. Pretty cool. Pretty collected. But bring up the topic of romance and whether it's alive or dead and the gloves come off! One of our new guys - an adorable lil bloke who giggles a lot and cracks jokes every chance he can - is of the mind that romance is definitely alive and well.

He's also young. But that shouldn't discount his opinion in any way! Smart lil kid, I'd call him, save for the fact that well... I can't really compliment him otherwise he's gonna start to expect that kind of behavior from me and that's just not acceptable. To me. I can't possibly let the guy think that I'm usually nice. It would likely bother him when he comes to learn the truth - I'm a frigid bitch. But that's for another day.

So, romance. I don't know a lot of romantic guys. Wait, no, it's that I don't date a lot of romantic guys. Or at least, I haven't really dated a lot of romantic guys in my time. There's loads of really nice, terribly sweet, and incredibly kind things that my exes have done that some may call romantic. I'm not completely ungrateful or bitter. It's just that my exes tended towards not really making a great effort to be romantic. And so that it's clear that I have no room to complain (which I'm attempting to - probably unsuccessfully - avoid doing), it's not like I'm the queen of romance. That doesn't mean that I don't like to be romanced or to romance someone. I've just gotten into the habit of not bothering.

But let's be open and honest here. Men and women have completely different ideas of romance and what's romantic. I know that the last time I can remember being wined and dined and romanced was ten years ago. And I got flowers, to boot. There aren't a whole lot of official 'dates' in my life. There's very little 'courting' going on. And, perhaps it's just me, but the whole idea of courting a woman is so romantic. It's a shame these days that women aren't that much of a challenge to men, since there's always another woman, lying in wait if you will, that is less 'difficult' to get, less of a challenge. And maybe I'm totally wrong. Maybe the general consensus with men is that women are still difficult, still a challenge. But it certainly doesn't look, feel or sound like it.

Equality is good. Being on the same playing field is good. But somehow the rise of one thing begins to eliminate another. I may have overstepped when I said that romance was dead. Perhaps it's barely breathing. But it's been getting smothered with protests and burning bras.

Thanks for the chat, M.

notes:
Lot’s of people think romance is dead, but romance is one of those things that can be happening and you don’t even know about it. I suppose there is no definition of romance I mean to someone romance could be calling somebody up and just saying hi when there was no need to call and no reason to do this. The person on who takes the call might not think anything of it, but to someone this may be romantic. Of course there is the whole flower and dinner shit that everybody harps on about but to be honest that is so “done to death” it’s a load of bollocks. If you want to be romantic to someone you have to know how that person ticks, because the whole point of romance is to make that person feel like the most special person in the world and to make them feel like you care a whole lot.
If romance is dead or indeed dying the reason maybe because people don’t realize that romance is not a material thing, its not flowers, it’s not chocolate. Its waking up in the morning for work and kissing you partner goodbye whilst they are still asleep, because you care and because they are special to you.

The moral is…..Go out with a people who are not afraid to be themselves and you will find a true romantic.
 
All good points Jimmy dahling. Of course there will be different understandings of what's romance and what isn't. But that's to be expected.

I'm still curious about my theory that men don't find women to be a challenge. ;)
 
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