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Friday, October 22, 2004

Banana Sluggery Defense 

A week's worth of sleep should be had this weekend, as it's a nice 4-day weekend and I've had the cumulative worth of about half a night's sleep since last Friday. However, since I'm obviously so not into sleeping lately, I'll spend some time with a friend from the States who is flying in to film videos for Einstuerzende Neubauten concerts. So I'm going to a concert. Or two.

Chipper and cheery moods can keep you going far longer without sleep than I had realized. And the onset of inexplicably chipper moods lately has proven to me that I can go from cup of coffee to cup of coffee with the bare amount of sleep without completely falling to pieces. It helps you keep your shit together. I don't know that I have a reason to be in a chipper or cheery mood. In fact, it's likely that I can drudge up more reasons to not be in such moods. But I can't be arsed.

The rather great drawback I've been running into all week is that I'm slower than a slug doing everything. I had intended on making phone calls for the past week and only got around to that last night. I haven't cooked a proper meal for myself in over a week, but I have had the time and the food! I spent every single night out this week. Each time for very good reasons, thankyouverymuch. Except I got talked into it last night when I even intended to go home and sleep the sleep of the dead. Instead I slept the sleep of a small nap this morning. In retrospect, the sleep of a small nap is better than the sleep of not sleeping at all.

I'm not sure how to dive into a pool of thoughts here, so tag along cautiously - I'll do an elegant belly flop into the water. I've realized over the past discussions with a number of people that I'm surrounded by apathy. I'm swimming in it. My fingers are kinda prune-y! It would be wrong of me to categorize the Austrians as the apathetic people, as I also see it coming from citizens of other countries. There seems to be a general lack of interest in having an opinion. And somehow, even less of an interest in expressing an opinion. Asking a british friend of mine what they want, they don't have an answer. Not that I'm terribly better with the question, but it strikes me as odd that I would likely have difficulties verbally expressing an answer. I would likely have difficulties mentally concocting an answer, even. Disturbing. In a very serious way.

Maybe it's not just everyone else in the apathetic boat with me. Projection has usually been such an easily exercised defense mechanism.

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