Friday, October 22, 2004
Banana Sluggery Defense
A week's worth of sleep should be had this weekend, as it's a nice 4-day weekend and I've had the cumulative worth of about half a night's sleep since last Friday. However, since I'm obviously so not into sleeping lately, I'll spend some time with a friend from the States who is flying in to film videos for Einstuerzende Neubauten concerts. So I'm going to a concert. Or two.
Chipper and cheery moods can keep you going far longer without sleep than I had realized. And the onset of inexplicably chipper moods lately has proven to me that I can go from cup of coffee to cup of coffee with the bare amount of sleep without completely falling to pieces. It helps you keep your shit together. I don't know that I have a reason to be in a chipper or cheery mood. In fact, it's likely that I can drudge up more reasons to not be in such moods. But I can't be arsed.
The rather great drawback I've been running into all week is that I'm slower than a slug doing everything. I had intended on making phone calls for the past week and only got around to that last night. I haven't cooked a proper meal for myself in over a week, but I have had the time and the food! I spent every single night out this week. Each time for very good reasons, thankyouverymuch. Except I got talked into it last night when I even intended to go home and sleep the sleep of the dead. Instead I slept the sleep of a small nap this morning. In retrospect, the sleep of a small nap is better than the sleep of not sleeping at all.
I'm not sure how to dive into a pool of thoughts here, so tag along cautiously - I'll do an elegant belly flop into the water. I've realized over the past discussions with a number of people that I'm surrounded by apathy. I'm swimming in it. My fingers are kinda prune-y! It would be wrong of me to categorize the Austrians as the apathetic people, as I also see it coming from citizens of other countries. There seems to be a general lack of interest in having an opinion. And somehow, even less of an interest in expressing an opinion. Asking a british friend of mine what they want, they don't have an answer. Not that I'm terribly better with the question, but it strikes me as odd that I would likely have difficulties verbally expressing an answer. I would likely have difficulties mentally concocting an answer, even. Disturbing. In a very serious way.
Maybe it's not just everyone else in the apathetic boat with me. Projection has usually been such an easily exercised defense mechanism.
Chipper and cheery moods can keep you going far longer without sleep than I had realized. And the onset of inexplicably chipper moods lately has proven to me that I can go from cup of coffee to cup of coffee with the bare amount of sleep without completely falling to pieces. It helps you keep your shit together. I don't know that I have a reason to be in a chipper or cheery mood. In fact, it's likely that I can drudge up more reasons to not be in such moods. But I can't be arsed.
The rather great drawback I've been running into all week is that I'm slower than a slug doing everything. I had intended on making phone calls for the past week and only got around to that last night. I haven't cooked a proper meal for myself in over a week, but I have had the time and the food! I spent every single night out this week. Each time for very good reasons, thankyouverymuch. Except I got talked into it last night when I even intended to go home and sleep the sleep of the dead. Instead I slept the sleep of a small nap this morning. In retrospect, the sleep of a small nap is better than the sleep of not sleeping at all.
I'm not sure how to dive into a pool of thoughts here, so tag along cautiously - I'll do an elegant belly flop into the water. I've realized over the past discussions with a number of people that I'm surrounded by apathy. I'm swimming in it. My fingers are kinda prune-y! It would be wrong of me to categorize the Austrians as the apathetic people, as I also see it coming from citizens of other countries. There seems to be a general lack of interest in having an opinion. And somehow, even less of an interest in expressing an opinion. Asking a british friend of mine what they want, they don't have an answer. Not that I'm terribly better with the question, but it strikes me as odd that I would likely have difficulties verbally expressing an answer. I would likely have difficulties mentally concocting an answer, even. Disturbing. In a very serious way.
Maybe it's not just everyone else in the apathetic boat with me. Projection has usually been such an easily exercised defense mechanism.
notes:
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