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Saturday, September 25, 2004

Put down the remote. 

BBC prime is fast becoming a dangerous channel for me to watch on weekends. Not long ago it was the SAS program. Today, it's all about nature. Animals. Mating calls and rituals and picky-as-fuck females.

Apparently there's a bird in the rainforest that chooses a mate by the decoration he puts outside his den, or nest or whatever. The more colorful and nicely organized and pleasing to the (bird's) eye, the more likely that male bird will get a fuck. And apparently the females get to choose from a lotta male front door steps. So if a male bird's not such a stellar interior or exterior designer, he's never gonna get any, poor chap.

And worse yet, there's a bird in Cuba that makes 80 male birds dance and sing for her so she can choose the best. Oddly, the male birds start young and practice - for years - with a buddy. So the female chooses one pair of potential mates and then one of them. Since the practicing takes so long to get the routine down properly, the males that get really good are also really old and can die during or straight after their performance.

Human males have it so much better. Imagine a couple of 80 year olds doin a jig to get a lay from a 25 year old.

Someone should take the TV away from me. But if it's you, remember that I am quite content to sit and watch someone else's (usually fake) life than think about my own right now. I suppose a program about virus infected seals isn't really as uplifting as I'd hoped the animal show would be.

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