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Thursday, September 16, 2004

It's Everywhere 

Now, I don't mean to complain, complain, complain, considering the fever is gone and I am now only battling with being able to breathe and see straight. This is a good thing. However, the bad thing is....

I live in a world of neverending noise.

I'll get back to that. The other day, in my fever ridden haze, I watched a BBC program about SAS training, or rather, would some civilian off the street be able to make it into the SAS kind of program. The episode I watched was about halfway through their torture - a total of 10 days - and the volunteers, if we can call them that, were put through a training exercise in escaping from being a POW in teams of 4 people. They were given rules, like "Don't use the main road. And for the love of all that is sacred, don't talk to anyone. Should you get caught, you can only tell the interrogators 6 pieces of information. Those pieces of information are: Name, age, town of residence, blood type, next of kin, and profession." Inevitably, you saw this coming, they were all caught. And of course, there was one team that not only used the main road, but, wait for it... talked to people.

So, once a team was caught, they were blindfolded and their pockets were emptied, but considering they were only carrying a map, this wasn't so psychologically bad. What probably really hit them was the fact that they spent most of the time laying on the ground, their faces in the dirt and their hands clasped behind their head. Once the SAS guys running the exercise were pleased with their lying in the dirt skills, they took them to a warehouse where they made the volunteers stand, sit or pose in odd, difficult to hold positions. For twenty minutes at a time. This was the "wait here for the next interrogator" room. The worst part of the warehouse, where they were posing for at least two hours, was the fact that there was a stereo in the room blaring white noise. This has to be the most disconcerting thing in the world. To be blindfolded, positioned in a really uncomfortable pose, cold, wet (it was raining), and scared shitless - well that's all really bad. Complete and total disorientation. But really the neverending white noise blaring in their ears, echoing in the warehouse. That had to be the most incredibly disturbing thing to have to go through.

At the end of the program, the team that broke the rules about going on the main road and talking to people were excused from the program, even though two of them didn't crack under the interrogation. There were only 4 people that didn't crack under the interrogation, only giving out the 6 pieces of information. It was interesting, but enough of that.

My world of neverending noise isn't exactly white noise, but it compares pretty well. Today, I have decided that people should stop breeding. Or failing that, stop bringing offspring to the kindergarten in my house. They have been screaming for nearly 2 hours straight. I wish I had lungs like that.

And then there's the basketball team that lives above me. In reality, the upstairs neighbor is just a thirtysomething couple with a penchant for moving their furniture on a daily basis. Since I'm usually not here during the day, I can't say with all certainty that they only reserve the moving stuff for midnight, but today, I can say that they not only move stuff, but their pet elephant, whatever his name is, is FUCKING LOUD.

Add a little more white noise from construction guys - somewhere - and I'm going utterly batty. I swear to god, I went and looked for the construction guys. They aren't anywhere to be found. They don't exist except to make noise. I looked everywhere. I'm not hallucinating either. I don't have proof of that yet, but if necessary, I think I could manage.

I decided to go hang out in my kitchen, since that's the quietest and darkest room in my flat, just to see if all the noise would go away. Since I'm back on the couch now, you can safely assume there is no respite for me.

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