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Sunday, May 16, 2004

Weekend away good idea. Whoever thought of that, good move. Want to write lots of stuff, but can't be bothered to sort things out in the head in order for it to make much sense.

Because most posts of mine make a lot of sense.

To me.

Had a relaxing weekend, enjoyed it a lot. Will have to do it again. That's all I'll say about that.

I'm in a kind of anti people mood lately. I seem to only be able to handle a small amount of people and when that number grows past a certain threshold, I slowly get really agitated and likely very un-fun. Also wasn't good with lots of noise today.

Realized something while at dinner. I don't like having attention drawn to me. At all. Especially in larger groups of people. I am certainly not keen on being the center of attention, get kinda squirrelly and super uncomfortable. Not sure why. I have known this for a long time, but it became kind of in my face obvious tonight. Don't really want to give the wrong impression - that I'm bored, pissed etc etc, because that's not it - but don't really want to explain in the situation because that would likely be even more uncomfortable than trying to shy away from the attention - and more uncomfortable for not just me. I've always been the kind of quiet observer when I don't really know people that well. Tough to explain. I like being quiet, watching, observing, listening, etc. to figure people out, especially people that I really don't know all that well, or at all, actually. I'm sure this comes across in the wrong way sometimes. I'm not always pissed, or tired, or bored. But I'm sure it looks like I am a lot of the time when I'm out and not really talkative. But damnit, I'm shy when I don't really know a lot of people.

On the bookworm front, I'm still super cool. Haven't checked the competition lately, but I'm sure he's catching up.

Must turn off computer. Technology overload - 1 hour in front of a computer after not seeing one since Friday. Wow, just over 24 hours. Impressive, in a not impressive at all kind of way.

Blah. la la.

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