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Sunday, May 30, 2004

This and That 

So there's some new DS news, in the form of 'next after the Cube' news. (It wasn't that enticing, actually so I'm not sure what made me think to link it....)

Today was a good day. I was lazy again. And by lazy, what I mean to say is utterly, disgustingly lazy. Didn't really want to get out of bed, but managed to do so for a smoothie. I am seriously addicted and might need professional help soon. I doubt there's any type of support group or anything where I can go and say something really fun like, "Hi, my name is Kirsten and I'm addicted to smoothies." and then have everyone say back, "Hi, Kirsten!" If I find a place, I'll let you know.

Laundry today. And not enough space on the laundry hanging drying mechanism thing. Still not done with it, completely, but there's much less left to do. (I'm not counting the pile in the closet.)

Finally talked to Red tonight. Haven't heard from her in a while. It was really nice to catch up a little bit and just talk about blah and nothing in particular. It was somehow reassuring to hear her voice. And laugh. There's a kind of isolation feeling setting in, or at least it has been kind of feeling that way for a little while. Not incredibly alarming or terribly bad, but not full scale happiness and light about it either. Somehow related, it looks less and less likely that I'll be going to the states for Christmas this year. Despite the guilt trips and sad commentary, or lonely commentary this would get me, I don't really think that I want to go. There's a lot of bitterness and anger involved and I don't like putting myself in the position where I have to deal with that on a regular basis and can't really deal with it in a way where anything actually changes. People will still be the way they are, they'll still act the way they always have - myself of course included - and I can't possibly expect people to change. But in the same vein, I shouldn't expect from myself that I should have to put myself in that kind of situation. Where I'm not entirely and unbearably uncomfortable, but at least there's a level of discomfort that is enough to make me feel most of the time that I just don't want to be there. And of course, this begs the question, do I really have to run away from my problems... is that really what I'm doing? Not going so I don't have to deal with something that I don't like? I don't want to go, I don't want to be there, but there's obviously some very seriously rooted reason for it. And I really don't feel like it's something that I'm avoiding so vigorously so that I don't have to deal with it. I do have to deal with it, I just know that I don't have to be there to deal with it, and I don't want a holiday season again where things aren't actually worth the trouble for me to get there.

On a wholly different topic... I spent about an hour reading through some message boards tonight on a gaming site discussing the finer points of the pro-life vs pro-choice debate. I wish that there had been more people on the side of illegalizing the procedure to provide more than just one argument, from one person. Not necessarily because I would agree with them, as I try to stay out of those debates or discussion entirely, but just to get another perspective. Is there a stone left in that debate that is as of yet still unturned? I would place bets that everything that can be said to sway one's opinion on the topic has already been stated - numerous times.

Laundry's done. Must hang the sheets...somewhere. I have no idea where, but I'll find something...

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