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Tuesday, May 04, 2004

So. German homework isn't all that fun. Really. Especially when you ask people who's first language is german about grammatical terms and they can't explain grammatical terms that don't mean a thing to you in your native language. But enough about the frustrating bits of my day.

Well, sleeping in today was not so bad. The sun was shining when I went to work. There was a family walking down the street in front of me this morning on the way to the tram and they were really amusing. It seemed that they were playing a game similar to "I spy," but I can't be sure. Since today was only English Tuesday, and tomorrow is German Wednesday I wasn't all that prepared to handle that much german in the morning. Besides, I hadn't had my coffee yet, so I wasn't all that good at listening....or being awake.

So, a conversation I had last night made someone's day today. Thanks. :) Aside from that, my day was rather unproductive.

So I've been considering more a permanent residence here. I think I found a place that I at least want to go look at. I'm sure I can't possibly afford it, but then what that I do regularly can I really afford? So I might be able to justify it....somehow. And there might be someone that will give me enough money to be able to afford a place that I could own rather than just throw money into a black hole. I figure if I buy a place it would probably be a really really good reason to stick around for quite a while, especially if I have a 25 year mortgage to pay off. And the place that I would just like to look at has a balcony. Oh what I would do for a balcony. Really. Especially during the summer. And one facing west that would afford me a view of the sunrise from bed. Damn that sounds rough. I don't know that I would be able to handle it, really. Maybe I should just suffer and stay in the kindergarten flat for a couple more years. Listening to the bongos. Can't forget about those.

So here's the idea.... I either stick to my original plan, which requires me to save money for a few years, 3 to 5, and then buy a place with a genuine down payment that would be from my own pocket and save myself... I don't know how much money but it seems like it should be not that much, or I go ahead and torture myself looking for a place now and then begging someone to give me enough money to cover nearly the full price of a place. And then move. Which is always cheap!

I realized the other day that I made an appointment for exact day of an anniversary that I know won't turn out well. Not sure what to do with that. Maybe postpone it. Maybe just leave it. What kind of bothered me most about the realization is that I didn't realize it when I set the appointment. Does that mean I'm forgetting? Dishonoring somehow? Maybe it means that I've lost some sort of connection and thinking about it, I feel like I shouldn't ever have done that... I am kind of concerned that I ignored the date. That it really took me that long to figure out that I had forgotten. It feels disrespectful. And I know it shouldn't and I know that's not how it was meant, but .... oy vey. Really I feel bad about it.

Have I mentioned that there are at least a few people that I really like in this city? People I like talking to, having as friends? And at the moment, there's at least two in the room. What I wouldn't give to throw some people out of the room right now. I want a little attention. Maybe a lil more than just attention.

Little needy at the moment, eh, K? Sheesh. Get ahold of yourself!

So I don't have to beg for sudeki anymore. I didn't even have to show any leg! Which is kind of disappointing. I was totally prepared for it!

Damn.

Oh well. Next time.

la la la

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